 Extract From Ur Secret Diary
After a very long time, I had opened my old diary. That diary was a very good friend of mine, sometimes. I wrote almost all of my teenage secrets on that diary. So I never leave it anywhere and brought it with me while take off to Australia. I’ve found the memories of my first love on that diary and after thinking so many days, I decided to uncover the secrets to you.  Ok people, let’s reveal the secrets now. ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ Memories of my first love I was wandering about LOVE, couldn’t able to find out the real feelings, and I was a bit confused too. But from last few days, something is happening with me. Its like someone is trying to enter into my thoughts since we meet, wherever I go, whatever I do, she knocks me from inside, I’ve started to miss the train, people laugh on me because of my meaningless speeches, I couldn’t help, she comes forward to my eyes every time. When it was started, I haven’t seen her face till then, but I feel her from inside, like she is ruling me from my brain! I started to laugh while walking; sometimes tears come without any good reason, just a little thought like “I miss her” bring the tears. I know tears are not only the property of girls, but it is not good for a man. I think it’s very painful for men to cry. Girls often cry, its natural because they are very emotional but men are not that much. Then why do I start to cry anywhere, anytime? Is this love? If it is love then why people want it solely? I always hear songs, but some of the songs get inside my heart, I feel her touch whenever I listen any particular song. But I haven’t seen her live, just a few pictures, how could I feel her touch? I can’t sleep well, hours passes sleepless without having any reason, I start to count hours 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 but I can’t sleep. After 3 or 4 hours I realize that I haven’t think too much, just some stupid daydreams came, like we will meet someday, what will happen. I become like a toy, a remote controlled toy in front of her. Sometimes she ask me to wear a blue shirt, I do that, she wants to see my teeth, I show her, she command me to drink water, I do that immediately. I was never this much obedient with anybody. But I can’t control myself while she asks me to do something. I was never like that before. Is this love? Day after day I wait for her, whether she comes or not, I keep my eyes open, or I couldn’t able to close my eyes. No matter how tired I am. For some of my foolish behaviour, she disgust me in these days, but I keep trying to talk with her everyday, because I’m totally lost with her. There is no individual identity of mine, I become a part of the sky, like the clouds, and she is the sky. I asked her at the very beginning “where you were till now”? “I was inside you, you had never tried to find me” she answered. I’m not a day dreamer; I know my fate will never permit me to get her in any ways, but I still can’t do anything without loving her. ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ Well, that’s the extraction of the feelings of my first love ……… lolz, isn’t it sweet? Mou (what I called her) is busy with her family with two lovely kids (not mine in any way ... ... lolz) now. I haven’t talked to her from last 12 years  . Hee hee hee. I was only 16+ when I wrote the diary and it was in English. I have made some minor changes of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors before posting. I had tried to keep the originality of that feelings as much as I can. Thanks. If you want, you can post from your secret diary too  |