[Gemini]

Monday
September 17, 2007
7:47 PM

Hellzpori'r kotha ta asholei shotti. Cleaning your room is one of the hardest things to do on this planet. Both literally and figuratively. Figuratively, it's even harder. And this is what something I've been trying to do, over and over again. There were many times I thought finally I've done it. But it turned out that...maybe I have gotten rid of two huge bags full of junks but I've brought 5 others to replace it, without even knowing. And I kept doing it and doing it. When I got rid off something, I thought I'm bringing something new and good for me, but they too turned out to be junks. Or at the very least their nonexistence and some memories of the past brutal realization and of the present truth.

I gave my friends a advice when they were going through some tough emotional turmoil. To them I said "Look at it this way okay? Your closet is full with clothes. Clothes that you wear everyday, clothes you wear occasionally and clothes you never wear. They are very old, they don't fit you, and you don't even look good in them. So why do you keep all these things inside?! How the hell are you gonna make any room for anything new if you keep hoarding the old stuff that's not even good for you? Throw away the junk from the metaphorical closet which in reality is your life, heart and mind and make some space for the new!" Then I took my own advice.

Only, not to make space for anyone.... but just some space. That's all I need for now. Some emptiness. Well I do feel "empty" from time to time, but that's not the kind am talking about. It's a different kind of emptiness that I needed to make space for. There were waay too many clutter. Some of the clutters still remain, but am working on it I don't really need anyone. No wait, I do. But no one in a form of what most would call a "boyfriend" or a "love interest" or what have you. I've literally got 3 friends and for now, they're all I need. They mean waaayy more to me than any man. At least, for now

Anyways. God I started off this blog stating that I won't be writing a lot of personal stuff but here I am Nah, I don't feel like writing anymore.