[Gemini]

Shundor hoyse na bandor hoyse jani na...kalke ei thread ta khule besh kichukhon boshe theke likhe felechilam
Thank you bhaiya


Wednesday
Oct. 18. 2007
4:14 pm

Goto bochor ei deen ta amar jonno chilo amar jiboner shob cheye dirghotomo ebong shob cheye koshter deen. Paayer niche jeno hotath kore jomi shore giyechilo amar. Mathar opor akash bhenge porechilo. Ami moteo toiri chhilam nah.

Sheydin ki mone kore jeno class e jaini. Day off chilo, tai kaaj o chilo na. Public library te giyechilam. Net e hotath chena jana ekjon elo. Dui ekta kotha bolar pore amake jiggesh korlo "bhaiya biye koreche apu tumi jano?". O je bhaiyar kotha bolchilo tar shathe onek aagei ja kichu chilo shob chuke giyechilo. Thik 8 mash aagei. Tarpor theke pranpone cheshta korchilam jibon ta amar guchhiye niye cholar. Bhaloi korchilam.

Or proshno shune prothome kichu bujhini. Jiggesh korlam kon bhaiyar kotha bolche? Jokhon o bujhte parlo ami...kichhui jani na...ebong amiyo jokhon bujhte parlam o kar kotha bolche...Ami kibhabe react korbo bujhtei parchilam nah. Pathor hoye giyechhilam jeno..

Ektu pore o amake jiggesh korlo ami thik achi ki na. Kichu na bole log off kore uthe gelam Pc theke. Erpore....khub beshi kichu mone nei shudhu mone achhe baire prochondo brishti porchilo. Ami hete jacchilam brishtir maajhe...kono deeke na takiyei. Maantei parchilam na jeno kono kichui. Prochondo koshto lagchilo. Ami hajar koshto peleo kaadi na. Mene niye chole jai. Odin maante parchilam na. Mone achhe ki je brishti porchilo! Brishtir pani ar chokher pani te ek hoye jacchilam.

Kono mote bari elam. Ek chhute chole gelam nijer roome, jeta kokhono kori na. Maa kokhono ashe na amar roome...odin elen. Amar obostha dekhe chomke gelen. Kokhono dekhenni to. Or shathe chhara chhari howar poreo kokhono erokom kichu dekhen ni. Ami bujhte deini. Jiggesh korlen ki hoyeche ami erokom korchi keno? Uttor shune bollen tui kadchish keno? Maa ke ki kore bojhhai keno kadchi ami?

Maa ki bujhbe odin ami hariye felechilam? O amar onek kichhui chilo. O amar kache ja chilo sheta ar konodin keu chhilo na. Keu hote pareni. Or moto ami kauke bhalobashini. Oke ami shob boltam. O amake janto thik ekta khola boi er moto. Ar prai 4 bochor dhore o amake bishash koriyechilo or moto o amake keu bhalobasheni, bujhte pareni. Amar onek aagei bojha uchit chilo jinish ta koto ta mitthe. Kintu oi je...bishash. Bishash korechilam oke onek. Eto bishash kauke kokhono kora uchit noy. Oke aroi uchit hoyni.

Anyways. March theke Oct 18 porjonto mone mone hoyto ekta kheen dharona chilo oke ami puropuri hariye felini. Kintu jokhon shunlam o amar to ar noy-ei, boron ekhon kagoje kolome onno karo...ami mante parchilam na. Amar jibone amar shathe keu eto boro bishashghatokota koreni. 4 ta bochor manush kibhabe eto boro obhinoy kore jete ami eta aaj o bujhi nah. Mathatei dhoke na amar. O shesher deeke emon korechilo je ami baddho hoye shey decision ta niyechilam. Otao or obhinoy chilo jaate kore ei decision ta amiy nei. Babar shanghatik oshukh, ekhane porte ashar visa na pawa, ebong aro joto kichu amake bola hoyechilo, shobi mitthe. Eshob oboshsho aste aste jante perechhilam. Ekta ekta kore...

Babar oshukh noy, o tokhon arekjoner shathe ghor badhar bebostha korchilo. Visa'r kono bepar noy...ota amake emni bola hoyechilo. Bhebechilo ami onnorokom. Hoyto oke chhere debo frustrated hoye. Ami to ta kokhonoi korte chaini. Oke chharar kotha kolponao korte parini konodin. Shduhu matro ekta visa'r karone oke chhere dewar kotha o bhabte parlo ki kore ei niye or shathe jhogra porjonto korechi ami. Eto bochoreo amake bujhte parle na bole chilliyechhi. Prochondo koshto hoyechilo jokhon jante perechilam oke dekhte parbo na aro 2/1 bochorer jonno. Tobe oke sheta bujhte dei nei. O nijei onekta bhenge porechilo (obhinoy)..tai dekhe ami bhebechilam...amake ekhon shokto hote hobe. Ami nijei bhenge porle ar kibhabe ki hobe? Oke aage shamlai, nijer koshter kotha pore. Shob shomoye chheychi oke jaate kono negative kichhu chhete na paare. Ami emoni.

Ami bokar moto oke cheyechi. Tokhon thekei aste aste or dure shore jawa. Class er bestota, kajer bestota. Babar oshukh. Aro koto ki. Aste aste amader bondhu der kach thekei dure shore jawa. Ami konodin bhabteo parini er ontorale or karo ekta chehara thakte pare. Ekhon bhable shotti hashi paae. Amar jiboner eto gulo shomoy, eto gulo bochor, ami khamakha noshto korechilam.

Jai hok...er porer ek shoptaher kotha amar mone nei, jhhapsha jhhapsha mone achhe shudhu. Deener aloy shobar shamne ekdom shabhabik jibonjapon kora. Shobar shathe hasha hashi kora. Shomoy moto kaaje jawa. Raate bari fera. Kintu raate nirghum cheye thaka. Bokar moto nirbak chokher pani fela. Final exam na dite para.

Ami thik bolte parbo na deen gulo keteche ki kore. Tobe mone achhe Eid e shobar shathe normal mojao korechhi ami. Maa ar amar bondhura chhara keu bujhtei pareni ekdom kicchui. Babao na. Ami mana korechilam baba ke kichu janate. Uni tokhon okhanei chhilen. Ebong prai amake phone kore jiggesh korten or kotha. Ami mittha boltam. O bhalo achhe, besto. Korbe dekha ekshomoye. Pore jante pereche hoyto, onek onek deen pore.

Ekhanei oboshsho shesh noy. Aro koshto peyechi jibone. Kintu complain korbo nah. Majhe majhe bhalo bashte ichhe kore kintu tarporei matha theke jhhere feli chinta ta. Ki dorkar? Ei besh bhalo achhi.