Making A Fortune
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy fingered his expensive wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $9.80."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars
Fallen
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"
Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen." >From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen." This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.
Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen!" The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest.
But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"