Best Divorce Letter Ever !

UnD!$PuTeD · #1 (**permalink**) 03-19-2008, 04:49 PM

i got it by email frm 1 of ma coz couple o daz bak... i found it a bit funny daz y sharin it ya'll...

Dear Ex-wife

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.

I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair
of silk boxers.

You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me any more; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the
case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!

~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a
good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
and griping. Too bad that doesn't work

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week,
but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!'
Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something
nice, I didn't comment.

And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must
have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork
seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it
was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me
that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt
that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I
got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always
wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a
dime from me. So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, ! Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but
my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem !