Jokes-1

[Odbhut Chele]

TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

VINCENT: One dollar.

TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic.

VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father.



Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.


The old man approached a young stranger in the post office and asked, "Sir, would you address this postcard for me?" The man gladly did so, and then offered to write a short note for the old fellow. Finally the stranger asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?" The old man thought a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you add, Please excuse the sloppy handwriting."


A blonde walks into an elevator and says to the guy in there, "T-G-I-F". He says, "no S- H-I-T". She says, "no T-G-I-F". He says, no "S-H-I-T". She says, "no" with a big smile on her face, "T-G-I-F". He says, "no" with a big smile on his face, "S-H-I-T".
She says, "no, T-G-I-F, Thank God It's Friday".
He says, "no, S-H-I-T, Sorry Hon It's Thursday"


Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do." Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers." The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1999. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?" Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

[Odbhut Chele]

A history teacher asks a student of history "How would you like, if you were born 500 years ago.
The student replies "That would be great. By that way I wouldn't had to study 500 years of history."


TEACHER: "How would you prove to me that the earth is round?"
STUDENT: "In my first practice test I wrote the world is triangular and so I got a zero in that test. In second test I wrote the world is a quadlaretaral, so I didn't get any credit. In the final test I wrote the world is round and so I got 100 in my test. By that way I'm 100% sure that world is round."


There was these two boys quarreling and arguing among each other. Suddenly they started to fight. Seeing them, a Third boy came rushing at the spot to stop their fight. Coming close to them, the third boy heard the first boy saying to the second boy:
First Boy : " One tight slap and I will take out your all 72 teeth".
The third boy was stunned and asked the First boy:
Third Boy : "Hey man! What the hell are you tacking about? Where in the world did you find a person with seventy two teeth?"
First Boy : Yeah, I know that, you were going to Interfare in our matter, that's why, I have included yours as well."

[shakib]

nice picci