Aurora:shining at a distance

[aurora]

i'm not sure why i'm starting this blog..boring as i am,noone in their right minds will read it at all,but..i need to clear my head i guess..to get the thoughts that clutter my head out of my system.

today:15th december,saturday.

for the past two days i have been a little emotional..i have a very bad tendency..whenever i read something that moves me,i think and analyze too much about it.the last book i read was 'the zahir',by paulo coelho.the main theme is existance of an object or of a person who becomes the center of your system,someone who doesn't leave your head,no matter how you try.and eventually the obsession drives you insane or makes you great.so i thought about it long and hard.,does it mean that really there are things or people that are unforgettable?
and it got me worried,the consolations we give to ourselves..that eventually we forget our wounds,that time heals all...is that a lie?then..how do we go on?and the thoughts which accompanied these worries drove me crazy.

and..i did things i swore i won't do..i walked down memory lanes i promised myself i would avoid.ya,maybe we all have our personal 'zahir',people who remain in our minds forever..we force ourselves to think we have forgotten,but they are on the surface,just waiting for the moment to make their presence felt.

[Tepantor]

Aurora carry on
Shuruta bhaloi hoise

[dark_saint]

nice intro ......and congrt for opening ur blog

[aurora]

shuvo bijoy dibosh shobai ke..

16th december,sunday

the morning began not so happily..my mother went to sriti shoudho early in the morning with her university staff..i woke up after she was gone,a friend came over to drop off a book..and i was feeling horrible at home.so dragged her to dhaka university,where some other friends were.from then on..it was simply amazing.
we drew tiny flags on ourselves[we did it..not drawn by others],and drew on anyone who asked without charge[the charukola students were not very happy],visited almost all areas of D.U.had lunch at the public library cafeteria,then attended the 'manobbondhon' against war criminals...then a 'potaka michil' leading to the 'dhikkar stombho'...flying our beautifull flag up high..wonderful wonderful feeling.
what i loved most was the manobbondhon,standing hand in hand supporting a cause that is so important for all of us..i hope the this pride that has irrupted within the country recently,doesn't die down.

then i came home,and saw in the paper that if you recharge your gp number..your sim will become 'omor'..it brought back a vivid memory.my mejo chacha died in the liberation war,his body was never recovered,and till the day my grandmother died she believed her son will come back,many years back the government issued some postal stamps with pictures of some of the martyrs on them..and my chacha was one of those martyrs.when my grandma held the tickets,her eyes filled with tears.on top of the tickets were written dedicated to the 'omor' sriti..or something like that..my grandmother said..'omor?'..that means that my son is forever alive,right?when will he come back then?'

i still can't forget her hauntingly hopefull tone.

[daydreamer]

congratz.. tomar intro' ta ektu typical chilo, max blog writer e ei vabe shuru korse tader blog, but tarpor theke it was simply awesome. Hope u will write regularly. golpo blogger of the year er nomination diye dilam

[aurora]

@daydreamer:thank u so very much

17th december:monday

i was chatting with a friend a little while ago..and at one point he used a phrase we both tend to use quite a while'ki ase duniyay?'..the last time he said this..i answered,yahoo messenger[because he used to chat with buddies day and night]..and we had a fun game analyzing what is the chief object in our other friend's lives.for the romantic one,her boyfriend,for the crazy one..her pranks...and so on.

well..so this time around i asked him..if i ask him 'amar duniate ki ache?',what would he answer me?he said..memories..it got me sad.. is that how people view me?living in memories?in a way that's true,the best times always seem left behind.

but if that has become my persona..someone living in past tense..then i better change it..and soon.i should learn to accept the here and now..instead of forever comparing the present moment to a distant memory..

puzzzled,puzzled,puzzled...

[PraNTiK]

AURORA's Blog!!!

nice dear sis, you wrote really well, carry on

[dark_saint]

he he ...... ......moja pailam

[Asif Mahbub]

Engineer na hoye writer hole e beshi valo hoto. keep it up.

[aurora]

this should have been written yesterday actually..but well..ki ar kora.
@dark saint,asif bhaiya,prantik..thanks so much for reading.

wednesday,19th december

yesterday was a happy and busy day,first i went out with my cousin..for shopping and beauty parlour,the usual girly stuff before eid[god..persona must be making a fortune,what a crowd],then with our freshly pretty(!) faces,we went out to eat..and..that too went very well..whenever i feel a little messed up,i've seen that a simple girly day out does the trick.

anyway,still had time left,so i went to a school friend's house.we have been friends sice 1998.nothing interesting happenned there,i rested on her bed,doing absloutely nothing..sorrounded by the walls which have welcomed me so many times before.her brother's guitar on one side of the room[scarecrow er guitarist],the computer with the wires hanging out on the other,the same clutter that has been there forever..and i thought,this is home..these things don't change.i came there as a twelve year old,now i do at 20,and still it's the same warmth,the same comfortable feeling.

and if enjoying that familiarity is living in memory land,then i don't want to change it,because this place keeps making new happy memories too..to remember later on,when all the simple things in life may vanish..still,the thick walls of that building will hold the sound of a distant music.