Aurora:shining at a distance

[redwine]

Originally Posted by aurora

next election[whenever that would be]i am suppose to vote for the first time..god knows what i will do.most of time you are to choose the less weird candidate rather than someone who truely deserves it..which seems so wrong.

same here dosto.
but one thing... i have no idea about the upcoming candidates
most of the known characters are... u knw... gone

[aurora]

17th january,2008


almost a week since i last wrote..i was pretty tense about my term final results,there was a huge chance of something bad happenning.but thank god..it went alright..and boy..what a relief that grade sheet was.

i have been in a weird state lately,those who deal with me on a reguler basis,know that i tend to get upset over little things,it doesn't take much to swing my mood.lately,the restlessness has left me somewhat.and i feel calmer..let's see how long this lasts

i feel like i've been given a new slate,all clean and shining..and the chalk is mine,and mine only..whatever i want to draw,or write will be from my own soul.the reasons,the results,the ifs and buts..all suddenly seem meaningless to me.

people generally feel things like that,after a near-death experience,as far as i can remember,i haven't had one!,but..i do like the effect..whatever the cause might have been.!!

[redwine]

Congratulations for surviving L-2,T-1 and you know what.

[aurora]

january22nd
tuesday

new term started at BUET..and with the horrible routine i got..saturday and sunday will be days from hell..well,i just hope i can survive somehow without going completely crazy.

i didn't have net for the last 4days..and surprisingly,it didn't feel bad..i read 2new books,hung around campus,wrote in my diary,wrote a new poem..wasn't bored at all..of course i missed my friends though.
then today net came back..i opened facebook,there were a zillion requests..matha out hoye gelo..

last week when my poem journey got published..my overly curious family started grilling me about the background story behind my romantic ramblings.this much i can honestly say..that poem had no background to it..kintu ekhn k kake bujhay?everybody is coming up with crazy theories!

[aurora]

blogging after a long time....no deep dark reason for the pause though..

april 4th,2008

after a long time something moved me to an extreme level.a couple of days ago..the weather was rainy..it had rained for two or three hours continiously.i needed to get out of the house,so inspite of being a rain lover,the rain was really irritating me..had nothing to do but pace my room and think.i remembered a rainy day from a year back,back then i used tutor a friend's cousin.i was teaching her algebra or something..and suddenly one of my friends called to say..go out to the balcony now!!there is a lovely rainbow out.having my student right in front,i couldn't really jump for joy..but i went anyway,with my ecstatic young pupil.
it was a very emotional period of my life..and i remember wishing i could stand with the person i cared about and look at the lovely arc overhead.well..that never really happenned.most stories have a sad ending.

anyway,busy with my thoughts,i went to my balcony..i looked up..and there it was..a perfect rainbow above..so bright and clear.for a moment i thought i was imagining it..a result of thinking too much about the past.but it wasnt a mirrage.it really was there.and i felt so moved..i gazed,and took some pics before it faded.but long after the rainbow faded away it stayed with me.and the weirdest thing was..although i was remembering my last rainbow with sadness..i still wanted to call the same person as before,even if he brought nothing but tragedy in my life.
i remember my first entry in this blog,about people you don't forget.i guess i know who my zahir is going to be forever.

[aurora]

may 9th

again after a long gap..well..it's been a horrible month.the pressure at buet was more than any sane person could take.by the end of it we were all too exhausted to think..horrible..even before my board exams i haven't been so tired.
yesterday was tagore's birth anniversary. .i sat infront of the tv and watched one program after another.at the end of the day sahana 's unplugged show aired.she performed with arnob alongside..as always ,beautifully.the lastsong she sang was aj jochna raate shobai geche bone.this is one of my most favourite tagore songs..the music has such a deep tragic longing to it..ever since i can remember my mother has been singing tagore songs..she loved this one too,i have heard it thousands of times..but it never quiet moved me as much as tonight..although there's no moonlight tonight..but 'matal shomiron' is here,after the rain of the evening..i'm still listening to the song...

Amar ei ghor
Bohu joton kore
Dhute hobe…muchte hobe more
Amar e je jaagte hobe
Ki jani shei ashbe kobe?
Jodi amay..pore tahar mone...
Boshonter ei metal shomirone,
Aj Jochna raate shobai geche bone…