My Part of Hell -- The Pori

[shmegel]

Browny...what a gorgeous dog sorry to hear about him api...

And about the phone, girl, its so hot, I want one, no fair!! The photo quality is really good too!!

My dad usually doesn't go BD alone though. He only did once when my grandma passed away, but otherwise its always with us...Maybe it would be better if he went alone karon ami shathe thakle kapor kenar bepare onek kiptami kori

[iloveuall]

is it somewhere near the Donmills and Gateway intersection?

ami oi khane i thaki aar jaiga ta keno jani chena chena lagtese.

[.HellzPori.]

awwwwwwww. poor shmegel!! next time aka pathiye diyo hehehe.

OMG.
my LOVELY blog!
ummmmmmah (to my blog, by the way ). i missed you soooo much!!!

but no worries, i guess i am kinda back now.
i did leave for a couple of days because of some stupid problems that happened around this place. i was kinda fed up of everything and thought that maybe taking a break would make everything go back to normal again. but but but ... unfortunately, ami jawar pore jokhon akhon ferot ashlam .. everyone is gone .
i was quite shocked at first. i wonder what happened after i left ... like in a span of what? 20 days?
wow.

anyway, i'm just hoping that Golpo abar ager moto jombe. ami akhon ekhane ghure beraitesi but i feel quite lonely.
there's no one to debate with anymore . kaoke bash dewar o nai and i am very bored. so come on people!!
come backkkk!!
i miss you guyss!!
.

pretty please?

i'll give you all candy if you do so .

... hmm, i guess that won't work.

anyway, i shall get back to lurking again.

PoRi.

[.HellzPori.]

oh. it's me doing my flowing of thoughts thing again.

wow. where to start? there's so much in my head!
well, let's start with the first thing.

matro Icy er sathe kotha holo. bollo amake new blog ta try korte. ami actually onek bar think korsi new blog lekhar jonno and ami ektu agey ei blog tao okhane lekhte chachhilam but bhablam maybe oita akdom amar full introduction diye start korbo ... ektu differently. hothat out of no where start korte chy na . so yea, next time sure okhane lekhbo. and moreover, ei thread tao to onek din dhore, you know? it's the place where i first started writing blogs. so eita keo purapuri baad dite ichha hochhe na . i mean i know it's there ... but still.

achha jaihok.
akhon amar porashona korar kotha. in fact, ajke sharadin e mone hoi ami nijeke bolsi ei line ta. "AMAR PORASHONA KORA DORKAR."
ami asholei janina ami r ki kortesi. at this point, amar ar porashona korte ichha kortese na. ami jani eita amar life er probably the most critical time. akhon jodi screw up kori, shara jibon ami eita pochtabo but ami janina ami still amon keno kortesi.
most of you probably know me as a good student who goes to class and all but ashole amar sathe story onno rokom.
good student ami, yes but i am not a good class attender. ami grade 9 theke je skip kora start korsi, ami pura puri stop korte parinai amar ei bad habit ta. ei semester er beginning e ami stop korsilam for like 2 months or so and then ja kar tai. 1ta 2ta class miss dewa start korsi. but bhaggo bhalo amar je amar average ami tikai rakhte parsi.
now my whole problem is that ei semester e ... ami class o kortesina thik kore and amar marks o jachhe pura neme. amar kono bhabei class e jete ichha hoitese na.
2 weeks ago, ami skip korsi pura whole week almost and then ajke ami pura day skip korlam. i don't know what's wrong with me. i have sooo many assignments due and all and i just can't get myself to do work.
2ta uni already amake accept korse but if they wish, they can take back their offers if i don't maintain my average and amar moner bhitor e ekta bhoy ase je ami parbo na average bojay rakhte.
yea ... na bojay rakhle i guess amare dosh hobe cuz i am the one not putting enough effort but thing is that i feel like i've lost all my motivation. right now, NOTHING motivates me. ami ja kar tai kortesi. Raiyan onek bar try korse bujhanor ... amar ammu abbu and bon koto koshto kortese ... it's just not having the effect it should have on me. even now, writing this ... i don't know. ami kemon stone er moto hoye gesi.
it's very unbelievable to myself and to the people who have known me for years. i'm not a person who loses hope or who stops doing everything. i always continue on till the last minute ... and right now at the last minute, i am just fucking around.

don't know. maybe i should go pray Namaz. actually kotodin dhore amar mone hoitese ... ichha hoitese Namaz porte. it's very weird cuz i was the one who wanted to get away from religion and now religion itself is calling me towards it. strange.

... okay guys, you know what?
maybe i should go and try to put my mind into my books. this isn't working. yea, i keep telling that to myself but it really just does not work. i know that right after i press 'Submit Reply', i'll forget all about what i wrote right now and get on with clicking around on IE.

.
hmm. i'm so hopeless.
amar mone hoi na university ar jawa hobe.
life for me sucks at this moment.

anyway, bye.

[AngeL_EyeZ]

Germooooo...look I'm here to cheer u up ...u called me pretty and I'm right here...asho Jadu ki jhappi dei tomake ... eto mora mora keno apni madam? apnake eirokom manay nah......apnar uni te jawa hobe...shob kichu kora hobe...just believe in urself, okey? we all are here for u...beshi chinta korba na! =)

[.HellzPori.]

AngeL_EyeZ -- you're so sweet apu! love you.

okay.
so i'm sadly here again. trying to type out what i have in my heart. well, don't really wanna say it all because today was rather a bad day for me. i mean like it wasn't bad when it started off but the end was pretty horrific.
i don't know what is up with my mom. right now, not only her but my whole family is going through hard times and my mom has the most burdens on her shoulders. i completely understand that she is not liking it and i am rather happy to support her. but when she herself keeps pushing me away, i just kinda lose my temper.
for the past few days, as i mentioned in my earlier blog, i haven't quite been myself. just amar family er dike takay ami nijeke thik kortesi and nothing else. i don't want to be like this but ami still ja ja kora amar uchit ami tai kortesi chokh nak mukh bondho kore, more or less like my mom.
kintu ekta problem. amar ammur koshto ta ami bujhtesi but amar ammu amar koshto ta bujhtese na. she keeps blaming me for everything i do. ami jodi ekta cup niye jeiga moto o rakhi, she's gonna make some excuse and scold me by saying that i haven't put it in place properly. lately, she's been doing this too much. the worst thing is ... shey amar protek ta kotha tuktese. at this point in time, i hate living in this place. honestly, i do. i wanna get out of here and just be somewhere happy on my own.

for the last 2-3 days, my mom has been very cold with me. only my sister is good and my dad is neutral. ektu agey, i went to my parent's room. tara bed e shuye chilo and ami just tader pashe giye boshchi. hothat ki ekta kotha start holo ... she started saying that ami naki basha ta tey oshanti kore rakhsi. believe me, ei kotha ta bolar sathe sathe amar matha ta thash kore gorom hoye gese and more than that, i was just extremely upset to hear those words come out of her mouth. ami kichu na bole, i just simply walked out of the room. when i was walking out, she's like ... yea eitai to korte pare khali ... mukh firai chole jawa.

i honestly don't know what my mom wants from me. i am trying my utter best to complete all my responsibilities and she just keeps making it worse for me. chance pailei, she's putting me down. i am losing all the motivation i have in life. akhon mone hoitese ami amar purano form e fire jaitesi, all depressed, worn and fucked up. i don't want to be that way ... i really don't.

[Bristir Chhonde]

hai hai eibhabe upset hoye achis api?? mon bhalo korte ki korbi janish.....panir dike takiye thak...otohoba dure kothau park-e jeye joreeeeeeeeeeeeeee chitkarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr diye jake gali dite iche kore de....mon shanti hoye jabe.

ekhon bhalo achisto?

[Gemini]

I relate to you about being a good student but not very good at attending classes regularly In school, I hardly had to study to do well yet class e jaite ichha kore na....so I missed out a lot When I did graduate though, I was one of the top students in my batch and I hardly remember studying. I guess for people like us..we are our worst enemy when it comes to this. Matha purapuri kaaje lagai na but when we do...we give people a run for their money. We should do that more. Procrastinate koiro nah...postaite hoy. Amiyo postaisi. With brain like ours that's the worst thing we can do to ourselves

Don't lose hope. You got into Uni...remember your dreams to keep you driven

[Bristir Chhonde]

Puspita bhalo achisto?

[.HellzPori.]

Gemini: agreeeeed!
Bristir Chhonde: apuuuu! ami janina ami kemon asi .

ohhh. sooo much is going on in my life. crappp.
my parents left me with my sister here in Toronto and well ... why you may ask. it's kind of a short story really.
amra ekta business nisi ... a convenient store + a gas station. but that place is not in Toronto. as a matter of fact, it's approximately 3 hours northwest of Toronto, in a town called Owen Sound.
my mom did the main training for managing the store. so, basically, she had to leave. akhon theke she is gonna be there ... as for my daddy ji. he's gonna be back and forth. mum ke help korbe set korte and also amader ke dekhte ashbe (amader ke meaning, my sis and i). my parents left on April 7 (some of you probably saw that date on my nick ... this is the reason why if you didn't know). anyway, akhon ami and amar sis Toronto tey aka and i am terriblyyyy missing them. bar bar call dite ichha hoitese but it's 2:32AM here. so akhon dile tension korbe. but good thing is that we will move there in June after school ends. this is probably gonna be the greatest change in my life. also then in September ami uni join korbo and dorm e thakbo ... so BIG change! Inshallah everything will go smoothly .

but for now, i have a hugeee burden on my head. i'm kinda scared too cuz not only do i have the responsibility of my house on me but also my sister and myself! ami ajke school eo jai nai ... shob mess up hoye ase mone hochhe. i really can't wait til June because right now, this sucks for me .

alright. i'm gonna go now. i have some plans of posting pics later to give you the taste of what small towns in Canada are like and also, Dhakar kichu pics post korbo. til then, stay tuned!