Thoughts of a Chaotic Mind

[Gemini]

Originally Posted by rongon

পড়লাম । এবং পড়লাম ।
, , , , , একটা মানুষের জীবনে completeness বলে কিছু আছে কিনা সেটা প্রশ্নসাপেক্ষ । কিন্তু একটা দীর্ঘ সময় ধরে বেড়ে ওঠা নিবিড় বিষন্নতা কিন্তু মুহূর্তেই ভেঙে যেতে পারে । তোমার এখনকার অনুভূতিগুলোর মধ্যে প্রচন্ড পরিপূর্ণতা দেখি ।
u have SO MUCH to give. আর এটা বোধহয় freezer এ জমিয়ে রাখার মত ব্যপার না । নিয়মিত freezer টা খোল , slice কর, কুচিকুচি কর , ভালোবাসা খাও । এরকম freezer সাধারনত খালি হওয়ার কথা না ।


...... ottawa / rideau canal মানে , আমার পাড়া থেকে ঘুরে গ্যাছো । bd high commission মানে কি BD tour দিচ্ছো নাকি ? BD তে গ্যালে তোমরা নিজেদের হাতে একটা গাছ লাগাতে পার হয়তো । এই ব্যপারটা বেশ মজার । লাগানোর পর দেখবা - গাছটা শুধু বড় হতে থাকবে চোখের আড়ালে - অদ্ভুত সুন্দর একটা relationship এর মত ।

,P,S , , , , , ,gemini, তোমার ব্যাপারে খুব ছোট একটা observation . তুমি বোধহয়
সমরেশ মজুমদার / তসলিমা নাসরীন / maya angelou , এদের বিশাল fan (indirectly বেশ উচ্চমার্গীয় feminist বলতেছি আর কি ।) , , , , , (আজাইরা প্রসঙ্গ টেনে আনার জন্য হাল্কাভাবে ক্ষমাপ্রার্থী । ), , ,

Areee apni okhane thaken naki? Pray 13 ghonta to okhanei hete hete paayer terota bajiye felechilam. Phire eshe dekhi foshka pore gechhe Bd apatoto jacchi nah, passporter kaj chilo. Beranor kono chhuto pelei ami laaf dei Gacch laganor idea ta pochondo hoyechhe kintu ki gaach lagano jae bolen to?! Mathay to kichu ashche na ei muhurte.

Shomoresh ebong Maya Angelou'r fan ami. Taslima Nasrin porechi kintu bhalo lageni khub ekta so nijeke fan bolbo nah. Oneker moto tar likhao amar bhalo laage nah. Uchhomorgiyo feminist ami?? Keno ei kotha bolen to?

[Gemini]

And tomader shobaike onek onek dhonnobaad for praying and being so happy for me

[Gemini]

Friday
April 11, 2008
11:56 PM

Shamner mashe ei bari theke chole jabo ami. Ami moteo bhabi na eshob. Amader pura elaka ta bhenge abar notun kore banano hocche tai prochur manush elaka chhere chole gechhe. Tader bari gulo bhenge notun notun bari ei muhurte banano hocche. Onekta amader desher udbastu punorbashoner moto hehe. Elaka ta bishaal. Ek pasher kichu building er moddhe complete hoye gechhe tai aager bashindara abar ferot chole ashche.

Koek mash aage amader rastar thik oipaarer orao chole gechhe. Jete hoyechhe. Dure na oboshsho. Eki rastay ache ora, khali ektu dure. Ekta barir bangali uncle ra jedin pack kore chole gelo onek kharap legechilo. Bhebechilam Issh ki koshto! Ekhon oder barir shamne bulldozer dariye thake. Aage rasta bhenge bhetore notun pipe boshano hocche. Sheta hoye gelei bari gulo bhanga hobe. Ogulo hote hote rastar eipaar...orthat amader bari gulo ke dhora hobe. Etodin etodur bhabtei partam na, ojana ek bhoye koshte dom bondho hoye ashto praay. Ekhon ki obolilyae likhe jachhi. I think I'm beginning to make peace with it, that's why it's so easy. It's still difficult...but it has also become a little easier. Chokher shamne odol bodol dekhchi to, tai.

Ei baritae ami shey 13/14 bochor boyosh thekei thaki. Tahole tomra bhabte paro koto sriti joriye ache? Kotto koshto laagto/laage jokhon bhabi ei baritao bhenge fela hobe...chole jete hobe onno khane? Etodin koshto petam..ar bhabtam ish amader ke chole jete hobe. Kintu.....kintu oibhabe chole jawar aagei to amake...EKA amakei chole jete hobe. Or shathe. Etao ki kom koshter? I'm excited, I'm happy...about having a place to call my own. Kintu koshto? Shey to chole jawa. Desher barite ami chilam jiboner prothom 12 ta bochor. Ekhono pray PROITA raate ami oi bari niye shopno dekhi. Prochondo REAL laage shopno gulo. Choto belar nana sriti niyei. Tahole bhabte paro ei bari chere chole jete ki rokom laagbe? Canaday ashar pore 2 bochor chilam ekta barite...matro 2 bochor tai temon kono sriti nei so I don't miss it at all. Kintu ei duita barir shathe amar shompurno JIBON joriye achhe...

Amar room take ami je kibhabe bhalobashi you have no idea. Room ta jodi kono jibonto manush hoto tahole tar protita roktokonikay amar nishshash lege royto. Protita anache kanache je amar bere otha. Protidin shokale uthe jei janala diye ami etokaal baire takiyechi...ekmash por ta ar hobe na. Kottoo nirghum raat keteche amar ei roome, ei bichanay. Koto bhinno karone nirghum raat jete ei janala diye baire takiye dekhechi akasher rong paltano. Gobhir raat theke bhor howa porjonto ami kotokal eka eka boshe katiyechi shomoy.

Shudhu ei bari na...ami ei elaka chhere chole jacchi. Ei shohor chhere chole jachi. Toronto'r bhetor theke ami ektu baire chole jachhi. Barir karo opor raag holey ami ber hoye jai. Ber hoye haati. Castle Frank subway'r uporer oi "suicide" bridger upor koto haatahati kori praay! Otar niche Don nodir teere dariye thakte ki bhalo laage jokhon mathar opor diye subway chhute jae! Riverdale park/farm e chole jai. Okhanei je amar shob cheye beshi chhobi tolay haatekhori. Goto boshonte amar kotto shomoy keteche ekta certain gachher niche. Eka eka boshe thekechi kotto. I had my lunch there, I had my cigarattes there. I even took midafternoon naps there. Sometimes I went to walk with my best friends even at 1:00 AM. I sat with my friend S under that tree and had smoke in the middle of the night while listening to David Usher's "Music".

I took my other best friend to see the sunset under the same tree. I even went there with my other friends and the person I'm married to now. Kotto addabaji. Can I do that anymore or that often? NO. God how I'm going to miss these little things. No more walking on the streets I've been walking since I was 12 years old. Tobe eshob koshto ami chapa diye felbo. Ami eshob bhaloi pari. Kono kichu bedonadayok hol-e ami mon/mind take onno deeke niye jete pari. Tokhon oshob niye bhaba bondho kore dei. Ar ki-ei ba korar thake manusher?

He's starting the move on Monday. By Tuesday he'll move into the new place and by mid May I'll join him permanently. Shajano gochanor plan shuru korechi onek aage thekei. Hahahah amader duijoner IKEA onek pochondo. Majhe majhe jai, ghure ashi. Jinish pochondo o kora achhe. Odin emni ghuraghuri korte korte hut kore duita alada glass/cup er set pochondo hoye gelo. Amake jodi tomra keu bhalo moto chinte...tahole bujhte ei jinish ta KOTTO WEIRD and kottoo UNLIKELY. But it felt good when we were buying those. Amader "shongsharer" prothom jinish. HOly crap I can't even believe this!!! eventhough I just wrote about it. HOly crap....

Man am gonna miss my room. Amar ek bondhu bole "dost majhe majhe bhabi tor room ta khali...ar etto koshto laage dost!". Amar room ta ashole shobari pochondo. Choto ekta room...aula jhaula amar motoi...kintu shundor. Boi ar gaaner cd diye thasha...pochondo na hoye upaay ki? Oro pochondo. Tai hoyto oro koshto laagbe amake niye jete....

[HypnotizeD]

nice words apu...onek shundor korey lekhte paro...r apu..ami kintu doa korsilam tomar biyer jonno...r apu...room er koekta pic tuley raikho...ohh btw apu...amar boro apu next month e torronto jaitese

[Gemini]

Saturday
April 12th, 2008
3:35 PM

Amar blog title ta ashole "RANDOM Thoughts of a Chaotic Mind" howa uchit chilo Mathay erokom bohut aulajhaula bhabna ashe. Ami manush tai aula jhaula. Tobe sheishob baad. Onno kotha boli.

Sharajiboni meye bondhur chaite chele bondhu beshi. Er kono bekkha amar kache nei...just that most meyeder amar kache neka ebong onek alada mone hoy It's not that I don't get along...or have female friends. I've a few and one of my two best friends is a female and she's just awesome!!! It's just that most of the time it's so damn difficult to find someone who's straight. Beshir bhag meyei "'Ko' bolte kola bojhe" (amar kotha na but I kinda agree).

Shongi hishabe tai majhe majhe tara ektuuu jotil. Ebong beshir bhag meyeder shathe kotha bolte giye "kotha khuje pacchi na" ei dhoroner situation e porte hoyeche/hoy. Most of the converstaion topics don't interest me much. I'd rather talk about music and rock concerts. I'd rather have a convo about books, some other current events besides what someone else is doing. ANYTHING else than those. Hell I'd love to hear something interesting about themselves. And I've always been somewhat of a tomboy.

But NOTHING compared to Rekha.

Rekha amar na, amar oi best friender choto belar school friend. Ami oke shamnashamni kokhono dekhini karon o deshe thake. Tobe or kahini onek shuni ebong hashte hashte goragori jai KOTHIN tomboy. She doesn't want to be one. She IS. I'd LOVE to see her when I go there next time.

Ekbar amader bondhu Faisal or bari giye dekhe or maa prochondo chillachhe. Karon raate party ache ebong Rekha ke jeans ebong shirt chhara kichu porano jae nah. Aunty chachen o shaari ki kameez poruk. Sheshe Faislu ke dhorlen "baba tumi bujhao toh". O gelo bujhate ebong ektu por ber hoye elo golay oi shaari jhuliye.

Arekdin ora duijon gari kore school jachhe. Prochondo jam-er majhe ek riksha eshe rasta block kore rekheche. Faislu rikshawalake bollo shorte. Shey pattay dilo na borong aro dhuke gelo. Rekha dhomok diye uthlo "Oi shala tui kisu bolte paros na!! " Faislu bollo "Areh ami ki bolbo? " "Rakh beta!! " bolei shey kothinnnn ek gali diye rikshawala ke bollo "Oi ***** riksha shoraaaaa ". Beta shudhu shorloy na...riksha niye parle ritimoto dour dito. Rekhar shathe shob shomoy ekta choto pocket knife-o thake.

Ekbar ek chhele Faislu der ke dhorlo tar naki Rekha ke khub pochondo. True love. Tokhon boddhoy ora 9 ki 10-e. Shey tokhon ekta faka classroome boshe adda dicchilo bakider shathe. Faislu ore bollo ja bole aay. Dekh ki hoy, na bolle to kichu bujhbi na. Toh shey chhele gelo bolte. Baire ora aari pete chilo. Ektu porei shuru hoylo tumul haukau. Ora moja dekhte giye dekhe table'r upore paa tule Rekha boshe chillachhe. Faislu der dekhei chitkar "Oi ei pola ki koi re??? Ki koi ei polaaa??? Or hoyse ki?? " Tarpore emon ekta kothin dialogue diyechilo jar golpo shune ami prothome hotobhombo hoye giyechilam...ebong pore hashte hashte chokhe pani eshe giyechilo. Too bad ta eikhane likha jabe nah. Ei hocche obostha.

Ami etota bhoyanok naa Tobe choto belay shob bondhura amar haate maar kheyeche. Ekhono khaay ebong bhobisshoteo khabe. Hoyto dekha jabe oder bouder shamnei amar haate maar khachhe That'd be something I can't wait to do!!!

[rongon]

Originally Posted by Gemini

Areee apni okhane thaken naki? Pray 13 ghonta to okhanei hete hete paayer terota bajiye felechilam. Phire eshe dekhi foshka pore gechhe Bd apatoto jacchi nah, passporter kaj chilo. Beranor kono chhuto pelei ami laaf dei Gacch laganor idea ta pochondo hoyechhe kintu ki gaach lagano jae bolen to?! Mathay to kichu ashche na ei muhurte.

Shomoresh ebong Maya Angelou'r fan ami. Taslima Nasrin porechi kintu bhalo lageni khub ekta so nijeke fan bolbo nah. Oneker moto tar likhao amar bhalo laage nah. Uchhomorgiyo feminist ami?? Keno ei kotha bolen to?

Fast Growing Trees
এই সাইট এ গিয়ে u can do a lillte bit of research on what kind of tree u want...
তারপর আশেপাশের bursery থেকে কিনে আনতে পার। or u can find some online nursery too, i guess .
গাছ বিষয়ে আমার জ্ঞান অতি নগন্য । তবে idea ভালো লাগলো জেনে ভালো লাগলো । একটা ছোটগল্প লেখার চেষ্টা করেছিলাম আর কি -- প্রেম থেকে বৃক্ষ রোপণ, তারপর break up এর পর বৃক্ষ উৎপাটন । গল্পটা বিয়োগাত্মক । গল্পের নায়িকা শেষের দিকে একসাথে ২ টা গাছ লাগান । খুবই রহস্যময় ending . . . . lol. . .. অতি নিম্নমানের metaphor বলতে পার ।

-- একটু ফাক-ফোকর করতে পারলেই golpo te গল্প হবে । ভাল থাকা হোক ।

[Gemini]

Wednesday
April 16, 2008
4:23 PM

Ufff am so tired. Kalke sharadin ekta din gelo bote. Moving is such a hassle. Or ekar jinish tai ei obostha. Kaj shesh korei chhutlam. I had such a bad day yesterday, from riding the bus to working to almost everything. Bolar moto nah. But it felt good seeing him sitting on the porch, being lost in the pages of "The Key To Rebecca" while he was waiting for me to arrive.

I've always liked his old place. Not just me, all of us. His buddies and the choto bhais and bons, (of which I was one ). Bhabte ektu kharap lagchilo je or ei chotto, shajano room tae aar adda mara hobe na aager moto karoi But then again, with life comes everyday transitions and this is a good one. Apart from a couple of things which can be easily fixed, I like our new apartment a lot. Well technically t isn't mine yet Shob kichu shesh korte korte majh raatero beshi hoye giyechilo. Shokale uthe abar kaje dourano. Ektu aage nijer bashay phire elam. Had one heck of a day at work as well. Jai hok. Eshob nah...likhte chachi onno jinish.

Manusher kichu kichu ajairagiri prochondo opochondo kori kintu majhe majhe eshob jinishei onek moja. Specially jokhon onno karo shathe hoy.

A friend of a friend receives the following GORU marka SMS from a guy almost daily in Bd. I've just seen the SMSes almost passed out. Manush kemne ettto stupid hoy?? Prem korte chabi to bhasha ta at least bhalo moto shikhe prem potro patha! Kichu kichu chhele ache ettto chechhra!!!!

SMS 1: "Hi virgin miss koshe.u dont KNOWS ME but u belive me i knows u.Cause i adore u.u r my dream.u ra blooming rad rose. 1more U OPEN DA DOOR OF u mind. I am crazy boy 4 u love.i remember u every day.summer kisses winter so why not i kiss u.do u belive me.plS phone doroo.or.DO U LOVE ANY BODY.PLS TELL ME.DO U KNOWS I LOVE U .."

Shey boddhoy O GO KUMARI likhte giye ektu beshi literal hoye giyechilo....

SMS 2: "Hi virgin how r u?i am so luck cause i adore u.do u knows da flower of da world r waiting 4 u.i knows u r a blooming rose.i dont knows what happen my mind today.u r my dream 1ly my dream.do u belive me every night in my dream i see u i fell u."

SMS 3: "Tomi jadi ak bristi vaga ratha amaka chuai blo bondo hobo tomar.Sadin prithibir sob shuke ami tomar paya lotabo.Apor kara nabo tomai nigar motho kora."

SMS 4: "tomara ja diachino sha tomari dan, grohon koracho jto rini tatho karacho amai" 'SHASHAR KOBITAr" a line amar sob chai prio.Tai ami ta tomaka upohar dilam."

SMS 5: "Jara nigar kachar fool rakha tara pabar janno akashar dika takia thaka,tara kicho pai na.Ami tomar fool,jaka to obhala korcho.Amar chya balo bondo tomi paba na."

Eshob pete pete meye ta chorom khepe giye call kore jhari merechilo prochondo. Ebong jhari khawar pore ei SMS:

SMS 6: "Aponar mon bolta ke keso nai aponi ke manusna.Ami to aponar akjon balo bando hota partam.Aponi amar opur ragh korsan kano?ami jodi aponar jogho na hoi ta hola ami apona sata bondhota korbona.Akjon balo bando j kono provlem a aghiea asta para. aponi obohala korban na amaka."

Ei chheler "Shesher Kobita"'r BHOYABOHO typo dekhe amar ekta kothai mathay eshechilo. Shesher kobita noy...more like CHESRAR KOBITA. Ei benaami chheler prothom SMS ta eshechilo oder classer thik majhe. According to that friend of mine - "class cholakalin ami hothat amar pichhon theke GHRRKKKKT kore ekta shobdo pelam. Tarpor dekhi pichoner ora shob goragori jachhe. KI JE BHOYONGKOR "

[rongon]

""hi virgin, how r u ?""
holly konnolly.... hashte hashte amar matha frozen hoye geche,,,,,, ওকে ফোন করার পর কি conversation হল সেটা শুনতে পারলে আরেকটু মাস্তি পেতাম । তবে বেচারার সূক্ষ্ণ ভালোবাসা বোধটা কিন্তু আর সব প্রেমিকের মতই । কিন্তু ভালোবাসার expression টা পুরাই মার্কা মারা ।
---- আবার শেষের কবিতাও আওড়াইছে একটু ।হাহহাহ । ... যাই হোক , মজা পাইছি ।

[Tepantor]

Gemini SHASHER KABITA niya ami hashte hashte sesh
Eigula ki hahahahhahah hahahahhaha hahahhahahahah

Brishti vaga rath hahahahha


Ami mara jabo ajke hashte hashte keno eigula porte gelam

[Numb_with_Rage]

LOL

HAHAHAHAHA EY SHOB KI? lolzzzzzzzz